Help Loved Ones with Dementia Write to Cherished Family and Friends

November 23, 2015
Our loved ones with dementia can communicate through letter writing with our help.

Computers make letter writing easier!

Written expression is a valuable way to share and construct feelings, thoughts, and ideals. Through writing, we are able to build and maintain relationships, socialize, and express our identity. It is an important way for us to affirm our own self-worth and abilities.

Unfortunately however, dementia interferes with writing skills. The disease involves a progressive deterioration of cognitive functions, and attacks the memory center of the brain before affecting language, judgement, vision, and movement. Oral communication becomes difficult. As the memory fails, word-finding and fluent speech decrease. Written expression is also affected, hampering meaningful dialogue and social interaction.

This time of year, many of us are writing thank you cards and catching up with friends and family after the holidays through letters, cards, and e-mails. However, this can be extremely difficult for our loved ones with dementia. While they may wish to participate in these “normal” activities, they require help from family, friends, and caretakers. Grandchildren can also help.

Ways to Help Your Loved Ones with Written Social Interaction:

  • Children and grandchildren can draw pictures on and decorate card stock, printer paper, manila paper, or construction paper. These pictures can then be used as cards.
  • Discuss thoughts, ideas, and feelings that can be written down. Start simple. Be patient and allow time for the dementia patient to sort through his or her thoughts and find the right words.
  • Use skillful questions to draw out your loved one. Ask about birthdays, anniversaries, hobbies, social functions, holidays, family members, close friends, favorite TV programs, jokes, pets, church activities, favorite games or sports, and stories about the past.
  • Dignify your loved one by helping him or her to write as much as possible. If a senior is unable to write, ask permission to write for him or her. Patience, time, and prompted hints where needed may help recall ideas, thoughts, and feelings. Be positive in your expressions, words, and body language. Help your loved one sign his or her name if needed.
  • Use a computer, iPad, or notebook to write e-mails, letters, and cards. Remember that larger keys are easier for elderly arthritic fingers and hands to use.
  • Keep a log of cherished friends and family your loved one has written to so that as time passes it will be easier to keep the written dialogue going. These will be the memories and insights into relationships your loved one can view again and again.

Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, ” The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Helping our loved ones with dementia be successful helps them build self esteem, maintain dignity, exercise skills, and prolong identity. While it may be challenging to help them write to cherished family and friends, it is well worth the effort!

Writer, KC Morgan

Karla and her husband, Art, have been married 31 years. They have two children. She grew up in Houston, TX. She has always loved to read, cook, swim, travel and crafting of all sorts. One day she would love to say she has traversed the whole earth. She taught Montessori school for many years and has tutored many students over the years. She has been interested in the medical field for many years and has been a caregiver for several friends and family members over the past 10 years. Her love of reading has motivated her to try a new challenge, writing.

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